Monday, October 26, 2009

Friday out and about

I didn't get a chance to drive around on Friday. It rained all day and it was dark by the time I left the pub to go home.

I was presenting a project that I had been working on since summer 2007. Every Friday the department meets and someone presents their research. It was my turn. I got to school with plenty of time before my presentation. I felt nervous, but also confident. I gave my talk, and wasn't bothered by any of the questions. I had several people congratulate me afterwards. But still...I don't want to think about it too hard. There were several times that I was asked a question my advisor(s) answered the questions for me. Were they trying to help me out in a good way? Or were they trying to help me out in the sense that I was fumbling so badly that they felt they had to step in to save me from myself? I don't know, and I don't want to think about it.

The last time I was before this group of people I was giving my oral defense for my candidacy exam. It was a terrible experience.

This presentation was different, of course. And the oral exam, well, it felt so long ago. But I wonder if that haunting feeling that I have now, this questioning of how I did, if some part of that unease didn't come from my sense of total failure that I had in the past.

In any event, I got good feedback,and spent the rest of the afternoon reading a paper that one of the professors suggested.

The happy hour was at a microbrewery/pub called Otto's. I don't drink, but I ordered their fish and chips. It was excellent--a large portion that was moist, and very flaky. The batter was well-seasoned, and not very oily. It came with a homemade tartar sauce with a strong kick of horseradish.

I don't normally use cash, but the restaurant grouped the bill, so I had to borrow money from a friend. The evening was good, but I left angry. One of the students had a bit too much and wouldn't stop talking, even after everyone had left. His ride, a female student, was waiting patiently for him to finish his glass, while he jabbered on about some class. And since I know that I wouldn't be comfortable if everyone ditched me while I waited for some guy to finish his drink--which he was taking his time to do--I hung around. Finally, the guy *I* was giving a ride to, stood up, put his arm around Mr. Slow and said "We should go." It wasn't late, and I didn't have other plans, but I was still annoyed.

It rained all night, and into Saturday afternoon. I love being inside and listening to the sound of rain.

The photo was taken on Thursday. I was attempting to do a color study, like a real-life color wheel: green, red, yellow, then behind them, blue, white. I don't think I succeeded. The composition looks unbalanced to me. Ah well, maybe my skills will improve enough that I can get a better picture next fall.